ITA | ENG
Many parents contact us in a panic with their only objective being to find a psychologist that could take charge of their child.
This is not our work method.
We believe that it’s absolutely necessary to start from the
parents, for various reasons:
1 - It’s the family that has the problem, not just the
hikikomori
Ours is a systematic approach for a simple reason: if the
family dynamics have been altered to the point of creating a condition of deep
unease in the household that affects all family members, intervening only on
the hikikomori doesn’t make any sense, since the problem doesn’t lie there, or
at least, not only there. For the time we’ve been active, we have in fact been
contacted by many isolated young people that have carried out an individual
psychotherapy for many years without any benefit.
2 - A change of approach is necessary
Many parents have developed, over time, an erroneous
attitude towards the problem, experiencing it with unmeasured anxiety. Such
anxiety is project towards the hikikomori as a sort of pressure, helping to
create or worsen their state of isolation. For this reason, in fact, until the
parents change their approach towards them, any and all individual intervention
will lead to nowhere.
What is our work method?
STEP 1 - Welcome the parents to our national mutual help group online,
in order for them to be able to confront themselves with others who have lived
similar experiences to theirs and therefore understand which attitudes are
positive to have and which, instead, are negative.
STEP 2 - Learn the nature of the problems and it’s dynamics
through articles, videos and posts. The self-formation is a fundamental step
since our parents are also our first “co-therapists”. No one would be able to
take their place from that point of view.
STEP 3 - Include the parents in our regional groups so they
may physically take part in the meetings in the presence of one of our
psychologists (specialized in this sort of problem), raising their awareness of
the issue even more.
STEP 4 - We strongly believe that, on a therapeutic level, it’s
important for the parents to put an active effort the association’s awareness
raising activities (in a way compatible with their schedules, their energy, and
with their competence in the matter). This because it helps them shift the
focus of the problem (and therefore their anxiety and fear as well) from their
child’s condition, to a wider and more general point of view. Our objective is
to act on as many levels as possible, not just on the familial microsystem, but
also on the scholastic and social ones.
STEP 5 - Having arrived at this stage, based on our experience, the
parent’s approach to the problem will have been improved and, consequently,
also their child’s condition, who will then tend to start opening up with the
parent. Why is this step fundamental? Because if the hikikomori can’t even live
in their domestic environment at ease, how can we hope they’ll be able to
do so in our society? This must be taken step by step, there isn’t any magic
want to wish them better.
STEP 6 - At this point, and only at this point, the hikikomori,
supported by a renewed trusting relationship with the parents (the complicity
of both of them is also fundamental) can be helped in starting a process of
resocialization assisted, if necessary, by a competent professional figure. All
of this will have to be entirely organized and nothing should be done behind
their back. A completely transparent relationship is required.
Understand well, then, that going from STEP 1 to STEP 6
isn’t doable. Helping a hikikomori requires time and patience (an element that
always needs to be present).
We don’t have the ambition to hold the truth in our pockets,
we haven’t identified the problem’s definitive “solution” (admitting there even
is one), but working in this way we are obtaining concrete results. Tens upon
tens of successful cases that up to a few years ago seemed unthinkable.